June 16- switzerland
Plane descending to Switzerland through clouds and potholes of air pockets. As the plane pushes through the clouds and land forms i spot a castle, and then two more. Basel. Right on. I have spent the last 3 days pondering this moment of my arrival into your space, and that last moment of our being together, before we each head off into the world- frantic trajectories from this one space- bouncing wildly into seperate hemispheres for an undetermined amount of time. And knowing when that exact moment is- is weird. I Have it, printed of a piece of paper in the small pocket of my jeans. The moment I kiss you goodbye and head Into the labrynth of airport security, will be the exact moment our relationship as it currently stands, is terminated. I know exactly what time of which day it will be, and precisely where we will be standing, when it ends. It’s written down. Like I said, weird.
And my painfully logic and sometimes ugly brain battles my sweet sensitive emotional heart about how to feel and act at the moment I see you, and the course of the next 3 days. It’s trying to plan a course of action without taking to account the factor of you, what comes out of your mouth, and the strength of your loving arms. And this causes some extreme anxiety right as the plane violently touches down to the runway, and frantically attempts to stop, without missing it’s turn. It’s too late to put my seatbelt on, I think. And suddenly I really have to pee.
As i fight my way into the rush of 6 rows of people flooding the tiny aisle of our tiny jet my brain and body battle with whether either is willing to let you or us go, and whether or not either of us have a total choice in this matter- and then it happens. That song comes on. Right at it’s exact moment. I’ve been listening to this song knowing, for 8 years now, that it would play out it’s plot and purpose in MY life. One day. And just now it did.
